I Sit Here - Original Poem

Hurting, shaking,
I sit at home,
Confused and lost.

Expectations, pressure,
I wonder what to do,
Unsure and afraid.

So instead of moving forward,
Progressing into the unknown,
I sit here thinking,
Worrying and emotionally distraught.

A friend who wants to be more,
A friend I feel no longer wants
To be a friend anymore.

Freedom is not always peace,
Peace is not always freedom,
And ignorance is never bliss.

At least it never has been for me.
Pain clouds my mind,
Pressure drives me over the edge.

So now I am too confused to decide,
Too scared of the unknown to take the step,
I sit here confused,
Pained by my back and ribs.

The heart is often a fool,
The mind often falls for the tool,
But I do not want to be a blind moron.

Sit here and wait,
Confront my fears,
Shed some tears.

Those are my options,
They are what I need to do,
Yet only two will happen now.

So now I need some time,
Time to think and mature,
I sit here maturing,
Realizing what I must do.

I must let go,
I must move forward,
And both of which I plan to do.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~