I Build Up Another Wall - Original Poem about me

When I feel scared or alone.
I build up a wall.
When I am hurting and cannot continue.
I build another wall.
When no one is there and I weep through the pain.
I build up a wall.
Then I am better.
I build another wall.

All I know is protecting myself,
I know not how to let my walls down.
People say, "Just relax," or, "Let loose."
But that never worked for me.
Because I had so many walls,
One right after another.
They provided me shelter from my issues,
Kept me safe from harm,
But they also locked me down,
Unable to trust another like I should,
Unable to move forward,
Instead of continuing backwards.
So I build up another wall.
I figure that should keep me safe for now,
It should allow me to continue,
Forget,
And become better than I was.
One wall after another,
That is what I have become.
Nothing more,
Nothing less,
Just a bunch of walls,
Unable to collapse.

~ALYSSA HELLENBRAND~