I Sit Here - Original Poem

Hurting, shaking,
I sit at home,
Confused and lost.

Expectations, pressure,
I wonder what to do,
Unsure and afraid.

So instead of moving forward,
Progressing into the unknown,
I sit here thinking,
Worrying and emotionally distraught.

A friend who wants to be more,
A friend I feel no longer wants
To be a friend anymore.

Freedom is not always peace,
Peace is not always freedom,
And ignorance is never bliss.

At least it never has been for me.
Pain clouds my mind,
Pressure drives me over the edge.

So now I am too confused to decide,
Too scared of the unknown to take the step,
I sit here confused,
Pained by my back and ribs.

The heart is often a fool,
The mind often falls for the tool,
But I do not want to be a blind moron.

Sit here and wait,
Confront my fears,
Shed some tears.

Those are my options,
They are what I need to do,
Yet only two will happen now.

So now I need some time,
Time to think and mature,
I sit here maturing,
Realizing what I must do.

I must let go,
I must move forward,
And both of which I plan to do.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

Thoughts - Original Poem

Inside my head is swarming confusion,
The memories and emotions clashing
As I try to move forward,
One step at a time.
People call me thoughtless but how could that be?
When all I can do is think,
Imagine, believe, and remember.
Thoughts consume my everyday actions,
They rule what we say and do,
So thoughtless is impossible
Because all I am is thoughtful.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

What was it? - Original Poem

Sitting here, looking up modern poems,
Nothing strange occurs until
All of a sudden my ears ring,
My head sways side to side,
And my head feels as if it was filled with water.
Not only I was affected,
For upon looking back to my computer,
The screen had attained a green hue.
What was it?
You may ask me.
I will respond telling you of how a spirit haunts me.
Superstition rules my mind,
The ghosts slap me, they follow me round.
So I believe either the spirit hates me
And tried to hurt me,
Or it walked right through me,
Knowing I would be disoriented.
Haha, very funny,
I hope you do that no more.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

You - Original Poem

Turn up your music,
Let down your hood,
Walk with your shoulders high,
Ignore the glances cast.
Just live,
Enjoy your life,
Walk away from the voices,
Now you are free, happy, and you.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

Just Words - Original Poem

Ugly. Stupid. Weird.
Disgrace. Beautiful. Mean.
Nice. Strong. Weak.
How can I be all of those?
No one every stops being insulted,
People canot not judge.
But you know what?
None of those words matter
Until, of course, you decide they are true.
Then every moment you spent growing,
Forming you as you are,
Was a pathedic little waste of time.
So don't listen,
Maybe you are some of those,
Maybe not.
Take in the complements,
Erase the insults from your memory,
They never happened,
Unless you believed the words they were saying.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

I am a really unhappy person. Mostly due to the fact that no website can satisfy me need for a reflected capitol D. I hope I don't sound too strange to you by saying this, but seriously! I don't understand how a capitol D always reflects as a lower case one.  >:(
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

):<  ˙ǝuo ǝsɐɔ ɹǝʍoן ɐ sɐ sʇɔǝןɟǝɹ sʎɐʍןɐ p ןoʇıdɐɔ ɐ ʍoɥ puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ,uop ı ¡ʎןsnoıɹǝs ʇnq 'sıɥʇ ƃuıʎɐs ʎq noʎ oʇ ǝƃuɐɹʇs ooʇ punos ʇ,uop ı ǝdoɥ ı ˙p ןoʇıdɐɔ pǝʇɔǝןɟǝɹ ɐ ɹoɟ pǝǝu ǝɯ ʎɟsıʇɐs uɐɔ ǝʇısqǝʍ ou ʇɐɥʇ ʇɔɐɟ ǝɥʇ oʇ ǝnp ʎןʇsoɯ ˙uosɹǝd ʎddɐɥun ʎןןɐǝɹ ɐ ɯɐ ı

Thanks to: http://www.sevenwires.com/play/UpsideDownLetters.html for making this possible.

What's The Point? - Original Poem

Even when my hope is gone,
Even when I cannot stay strong,
You hold onto the belief that I can be better.
When I am collapsed,
When I am ready to die,
You hold onto me and make me better.
Through the good,
Through the worst imaginable,
You hold onto the bond we have and I know I can be better.
Knowing I can be better,
Knowing you can make me better,
You move in closer and make me realize how I can become better.
Together, we agree,
Together, we move forward,
You and I clasp hands and raise them high in the air, already better.
Once someone asked me, "What's the point?"
Once I had no answer,
You have given me the answer.
The point is that we can grow,
The truth is we can always improve,
You have shown me that, and now I tell you know.
When you wonder what the point is,
Well, look around,
You can become better for those around you, and for yourself as well.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

Stronger - Original Poem

This is who I am.

I’m that girl you always ignored.

I’m the one no one wanted to understand.

You just ran circles around me and laughed.

It has been years and I am sick of it.

Suddenly I am stronger and you can see me.

You try to laugh but it does not hurt anymore.

I have grown strong while you grew weak.

Now you stand ignored.

You expect me to run circles around you and laugh,

But the truth is...

I do not feel as if that would help anything.

You see my hesitation as weakness

And you gather your friends.

Every day you try to torment,

Hurt,

Attack,

And Destroy

Who I really am,

But you cannot stop me from just being me.

I am not that pathetic

I will not let you attack me,

You cannot hurt me anymore.

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

Together We Can! - Original Poem

Sometimes the truth is just too much and you cave in,
Then you stand up, back straight, head held high,
And you face that truth.
Together with your friends and family, you see a light,
Together with your loved once, you beat down what hurt you,
Alone you heal, but with others at your side,
That healing is not such a terrible burden to have on your shoulders.
Because with others healing is possible where while alone you just sit and slowly come apart.


~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

Dream or Want?

"What I don't get is why people allow time to change their dreams. If your dream changes every day or maybe every year, was it really even ever a dream? Or was it just something you wanted?" ~ Alyssa Hellenbrand

Others and I - Original Poem

When I say yes,
Others say no,
When I yell maybe,
Others want a better answer,
When someone tells me maybe,
I take it as it is.
So why do they always
Not like what I say or do?

~Alyssa Hellenbrand~

Once someone told me to speak my mind...
Then someone told me to not say anything if I had nothing nice to say...
So now I am rather confused...

Writing isn't just a boring way for teachers to help us learn, it's not always something people are good at; but when you write for fun, something inside you clicks and you begin to relax. Once you start to relax, your mind opens and lets out how it feels - allowing your story or poem you are working on to hold so much more meaning than another may think.

Differences - Original Poem

No one there but you and I
Best friends forever,
That was a lie.
Now we are different
And our paths are winding away
From the deep, dark confusion
Standing in our way.
We shove aside the problems -
Just in time,
Yet there is always another wall
We are forced to shove aside
As we continue together.
Hold on!
I tell myself this often.
I know we can make it if we try.
Yet each day becomes a burden
And I feel as if I want to cry.
But hold back the tears,
Push through those fears,
Make the differences build us together,
And I deeply hope we make it through
Another December,
Just one more year.
Then I wish the same again,
Despite my deep fear
That one day soon
A fight will break free,
One that is powerful,
Strong and proud,
One we are unable to flee.
Our differences will become a landslide,
Throwing much weight on our shoulders,
Our friendship will be threatened,
Other friends will take sides.
Not wanting to loose them,
One of us will subside,
Saying the other is right,
Although they are not.
So friends we may remain,
Acquaintances more likely,
And our group remains together,
Although hostility often rises into the air.
Confusion is a problem,
We do not know how to remove,
So as we come together,
We really should not move.
Staying apart would be difficult,
Yet when the time comes,
It will be the right thing to do.
The challenge of  a lifetime.
The loss of a best friend.

~ALYSSA HELLENBRAND~

I Build Up Another Wall - Original Poem about me

When I feel scared or alone.
I build up a wall.
When I am hurting and cannot continue.
I build another wall.
When no one is there and I weep through the pain.
I build up a wall.
Then I am better.
I build another wall.

All I know is protecting myself,
I know not how to let my walls down.
People say, "Just relax," or, "Let loose."
But that never worked for me.
Because I had so many walls,
One right after another.
They provided me shelter from my issues,
Kept me safe from harm,
But they also locked me down,
Unable to trust another like I should,
Unable to move forward,
Instead of continuing backwards.
So I build up another wall.
I figure that should keep me safe for now,
It should allow me to continue,
Forget,
And become better than I was.
One wall after another,
That is what I have become.
Nothing more,
Nothing less,
Just a bunch of walls,
Unable to collapse.

~ALYSSA HELLENBRAND~

UFO threat

Someone once asked why I wished a UFO would land on Earth. I responded by saying, "A UFO would cause people to stop fighting against eachother and instead work together to get rid of the alien threat."

Opossum - Original Poem

Crawling slowly past the barn,
There was an opossum.
Large and fat,
Teeth remaining hidden,
I hide in the doorway,
Too afraid to move,
It walked up the sidewalk
And therefore stranded me,
I dared not attempt to follow it,
Although it was my only path to the house,
I dared not threaten it,
Fearing the worst situations.
I called for help,
Wished I had a phone,
Then it escaped my vision,
Hidden in the dead of night,
It vanished,
Not to be found that night,
For even with the aid of flashlights,
My mother and I could not sight the marsupial.


By : Alyssa Hellenbrand